(Source: atheistangel)
768,391 notes
So, in the middle of everything today, we ran across a hellaciously distressed momma mallard and a bunch of her baby ducks that had fallen down a sewer grate. Another guy was already trying to fish them out, so my friend and I called animal control before we tried to fish the rest of them out. When Animal Control got there, we had all of them out and the mother duck quacking very happily. I was surprised - none of us got snapped at or hurt. I was even holding onto a bag at one point that had all of them in it and she just watched me.
I love how the duck is perched on the guy’s butt
I’M SO HAPPY
His pledge to her:
i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will love you. i will love you.
I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before, but it’s so perfect.
:(
My daughter has chosen the Dark Side
I’m crying.
Every time I encounter this video, I hit replay so many times it’s ridiculous.
Her face is so great!
(Source: youtube.com)
when you want to say something and keep getting interupted but then the conversation turns to a different topic
(Source: brobrosey)
“HONEY”
“WHAT”
“WHERE’S MY SPEECH NOTES”
“WHAT”
“WHERE. ARE. MY. SPEECH. NOTES.”
“I UHHHH. ORGANISED THEM.”
“WHAT?!”
“WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW.”
“I NEED THEM”
“UH UH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT PRACTISING THAT SPEECH TONIGHT I’VE BEEN PLANNING THIS DINNER FOR MONTHS”
“BUT AMERICA IS IN NEED”
“MY STOMACH IS IN NEED OF THAT FANCY DINNER.”
“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SPEECH IS WOMAN THIS IS FOR INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE”
“I’M MICHELLE OBAMA. I INVENTED JUSTICE.”
(Source: nomadichead)